Monday, September 30, 2013
Last night we went up to Colorado Springs to have dinner with a friend of ours who is moving back to Texas. We went during a time when Abigail is normally asleep hoping that she would stay asleep while we ate.
Yeah. Not so much.
The ride to CO Springs in an hour long, during which the child that normally conks out approximately 2 minutes into a car ride slept maybe 15 minutes, off and on. She was wide awake when we got to the restaurant, but she was happy and content, so I wasn't too worried (she's been so relaxed this last week!). For the first 40 minutes or so she continued to be happy and content - first in her carseat and then sitting on my lap while I ate. She was cooing and smiling and interested in everything around her. But then... THEN...
The crying started. I knew the cry. It wasn't the cry that was going to be satisfied by popping a paci in her mouth, or by bouncing her on my lap. No. This was the, "I'm so tired but I'm going to refuse to go to sleep or be comforted in anyway" cry.
This was the first time Abigail has had a meltdown in public so I was pretty frazzled. As soon as I knew I wasn't going to be able to console her in the restaurant I took her outside but I forgot all of the things I'd normally use to help calm her down - her swaddle blanket and her paci. I'd also pumped a bottle for her and I forgot that inside, too. Also I realized she had a dirty diaper and I didn't have my diaper bag with me. Oh, and I'd forgotten my phone so I couldn't call Brandon to bring anything out to me.
So the only option was to run back inside with a somewhat calmed down baby (it was still touch and go) and grab some stuff (I still forgot her paci and her blanket) and then run back outside to try and feed her. Let's just say the night quickly went downhill.
But then I as I was walking around outside the restaurant, with a calmed Abigail in my arms, I looked up and saw this beautiful sunset over the mountains.
Do you ever have those moments that you think are just for you, almost as if God is whispering down at you, ever so quietly, "It's okay?"
I'm not going to claim that *I* immediately relaxed after that - I was still a little on edge and, quite honestly, starving by that point, but it's always so good for me to be reminded in the moments where I feel like I lose control of everything that I'm not actually the one in control - that the God who formed those mighty mountains and made such a beautiful sunset for me to look at wants me to look towards Him for peace.
Abigail cried most of the way home and I ate sushi with my hands, but you know what... it's okay.